Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Annoying to recognize me

Dear Readers,
Oops

 I want to send some adore out there today to all of you. Today I want to share a receptive subject. And it has been brought up due to some very loving readers who I am definite have my best concern in mind. Since I started the blog, there have been some readers writing in comments or emails about my twin nature. All right, dear ones I too focus this theme today.


Perpetually I have wondered how these two actually strong, actually contrasting, personalities I have live together in my one body. I am totally in one way, someone who gets lost in movies and music and Internet, who needs to be making something to be relaxed. I am an introvert who never wants to leave my house or close up my story. Big but: I am also super radical idealist. i love Politics, Philosophy, rational dispute with real people, methodological writing and research papers, studying, and yes, obsessively clean-up and organizing.
I desire, and have tried, to be satisfied with only using one side of me. For a short time, my job was to stay at home and knit and take pictures and write from my heart and do Painting and face booking. I loved it! I hated it! To satisfy my other individuality, I am not doing anything at this time. I love it! I hate it! To be honest I miss my previous life. I have been getting sincerely worried that I’m just a person for whom the grass is never green enough. And based on my experiences in life right now, I have been concerned that my Future life will be shady.
Last week I had a soothing epiphany. As we were discussing political Lines based on sociological theories in a colloquium, I realized, this effort requires incredible imagination. however to suggest solutions for social problems, to intelligently and non-divisively defend positions that are not popular, to research and write about the human experience, to discover the right remedy to heal an injured soul, to work on minimizing social program vanity and maximizing human efficiency... these activities all require serious innovative juice.
So ya, right now is weird without stability. But someday, when twenty page papers aren't due incessantly, it will be so dissimilar. I will go off to collective work imaginatively and sociably for some hours each day. Then I will come home and, and craft innovatively and live as an introvert for some hours each day. I just need to make it through this out of balance rough patch. Then I’ll reap the rewards of my hard work and will be one unified person. Happy in the green, green grass.
Can you relate? I guess the trick is to hub on the quickness of each trying phase of our lives and look for the great in it... the parts that may never come again and actually teach us what we're made of. What’s that saying? The grass is greener where you water it.

As of now and I’ve been on a roller coaster of sentiments, but I’m settling down now. I love the windows wide open, curtains blowing, and all around me .this is all for today

 

With Love

Sincerely

Yours

SJ

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Welcome March

Woah......... March came fast, yes my blog followers! I’ve forgotten you, I truly have for long years, but today I m back .it’s been so good to get up in the morning without much anxiety “what the buzz am I going to blog about today?!”emotions…yes emotions .

Other more responsible bloggers have their posts designed and planned their days in advance, but that has never been me. I need a sense of somewhat frantic necessity to get things completed in life, for the main part. Nothing too awfully thrilling happened in the last several months- though I did understand several eye-opening surprises It’s been definitely calm around here, and I can’t assure that it will progress anytime soon. 

There’s a bottleneck inside me plenty going on, but maybe a bit too much to convey something of substance at all. Still, I figured I would undertake. It’s fine, this year. It’s been very good. I’m joyful in a way that happiness can only explain because joy and luck and glee are too frivolous to rightfully set in the extent of goodness in my mind.
But I’m shocked, too. surprised with fear and terror over what 2014 has in store, for no other reason than it’s started out much, much dissimilar than any of my last years and it turns out I’ll have very small, if any control at all in how my life will pan out.
I have Faith,I do, and I am madly in love with everything that surrounds me right this moment .Big things seem to be happening, and all I can do is pray hard somewhere deep in my gut. But for now, I’m going to have to let things flow gradually, carefully, and peacefully. Sometimes silence happens. Not because there are no words, but because the words are too sacred for voices to hear. And maybe that’s all for now.

Sincerely

Yours

SJ