Saturday, July 23, 2011
It wasn’t a complete shock- it was cancer. It was coming. But isn’t it funny that no matter how much we know something like this is going to happen, it still shocks the system. At least, it still shocked me. she leaves behind an amazing husband and three young kids, friends, siblings, parents, and a church family- all who loved her dearly. My heart aches just to write it.
I talked to her sister on the phone, I went for the funeral, and I cried once.
The rest of the day was auto-pilot. Reschedule events for the rest of the week. Make sure all mutual friends are informed. Call her sister again, just to hear her voice and offer a moment of friendship.
I was the first one home, so I piled myself on the couch, ready to relax into the sadness. I had some writing to do [ahem...], but my soul felt dreary.
It wasn’t long until my friends were home.
And it wasn’t long until they were holding a collection of four ultrasound photos in front of my eyes.
A baby. Their first. A life created.
I cried. [Ultrasounds ALWAYS make me do that. I do not know why.] The tears rolled out like they had just been waiting on permission to do so. The absolute joy over this little one’s new life mixed with the sadness of the death of a friend made my insides confused and left me in a puddle.
Through the tears, I asked a thousand questions, including if they wanted to name their baby after me if she is a girl. [The jury is still out on that one.] The rest of the night went along with random spurts of baby talk mixed in with brownies to celebrate and a few episodes of shows that make us laugh.
And now the day is done. I doubt I will live another one like this. Life and death, joy and sorrow, a mother joins the ranks of great moms as one leaves...........
I can’t tell the difference between a sunrise and a sunset just by seeing a picture (like the one above). They just look too similar.
It seems that no matter which way the sun is going, the colors display the beauty and the majesty of God.
And after my experience today, I think something about that feels very true.
. . . . .